When you think of intimacy, what do you think first? Romp in the bedroom? Being physically intimate with someone can be relatively easy because it is what our bodies naturally want to do (in most cases). We feel the drive and our bodies begin the natural reactions to prepare for sexual intimacy. We don’t even have to think about it. Easy, cavemen were doing it.
Lets talk about a different kind of intimacy, emotional intimacy. What I have discovered is the emotional intimacy is the more challenging of the two. Emotional intimacy requires work. It’s letting your guard down and having those difficult conversations that no one really wants to have but are necessary for the connection you really desire.
- Finding the right time to talk: A time when the two of you are alone and not distracted is ideal. A car ride can be a good place because you’ve got the time and no one can really go anywhere until you get to the destination. You’re stuck. WARNING: it can also get uncomfortable…
- Be ready to get uncomfortable: You’re not talking about the weather and baseball. You are talking about things you value and are important to you. Your heart may be racing and your palms are sweaty but that means it’s important. These topics will be the foundation of a relationship with open communication. Long periods of silence aren’t a bad thing and don’t feel like you have to fill it if he isn’t saying anything. He is probably just collecting his thoughts.
- Find time to continue conversation: Being vulnerable and letting your guard down is important in fostering any relationship. This is the way you grow deeper. It can be terrifying to start some of these conversations, but it’s easier to take care of them on the early end than damage control on the later end.
Conversations may not go as planned but as you engage in more and more of them they become more natural and you begin to learn who you are through them and how to navigate your relationship. Emotional intimacy is necessary in a relationship so don’t be afraid to develop yours with your boyfriend (or anyone else)!