It’s not you, it’s me…

Breaking up gracefully? Breaking and gracefully don’t go together, it’s an oxymoron. BUT there is a way to end things without it ending in resentment and disgust. It’s not always easy and it isn’t always guaranteed to work but approach it the right way, and two people can part civilly.

  1. You’re both adults. We can start there. No reason why two grown people can’t be mature with a break up.
  2. Figure out what you want to say and the best way and time to approach him. Impulsively rarely works (probably more like never) so have a clear plan you are ready to calmly execute.
  3. Be honest. Tell him exactly how you feel (leave out ugly words and unnecessary insults, that won’t work). He is going to appreciate that much more than if you beat around the bush and get into the “You’re a really nice guy….but…” Guys are more direct and they want you to be direct, too.
  4. You very well may not be friends afterwards. Don’t plan on it. Just because you break up gracefully does not mean this person still wants to stick around. In fact, it’s probably better to go your own ways. It helps provide that distance needed for healing after a break-up.
  5. Don’t harbor ill will towards him. Your attitude will dictate the way you feel and if you want a clean break up, just let it roll off your shoulders.

Again, there is no guarantee this will work for everyone every time because there are a lot of reasons that cause break ups, but if you want to part amicably it is possible…just don’t start with “It’s not you, it’s me…”


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