Rejection. YUCK.

Rejection is real. When it happens most often “What is wrong with me?” passes through your mind at one point or another. It may feel like that is the only thing you can think about—like a broken record, it plays over and over again in your head. You want answers you may never get. And there you are, abandoned by someone who you thought loved you. Next move, how do you even begin to get yourself back in the game when you believe so deep down that you will be rejected again?

Take your time: There is no race to start dating again. You need to take your time to heal and become whole. You’ve lost a best friend who essentially told you “Thanks but no thanks.” People we love and who are supposed to love us aren’t supposed to do that, but they do. From this you can learn how strong you are, even though you feel weak. But take the time to heal, without healing, you can’t give back to someone else when you do feel ready.

Vulnerability is scary. That’s what made the rejection hurt so badly because you were able to drop walls with that person you weren’t able to with others. It was real. But in doing that you learned what it was like to admit your faults, weaknesses, and fear of judgment, which takes courage. Through those things, you were able to experience what a relationship is about and without those, you can’t love someone. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable with the next man. In those moments is where you find the real connections that have value.

Enjoy dating for what it is, an opportunity to spend some time with a new person with no strings attached. It may go somewhere, it may not, but no need to put pressure on yourself for it to go to the next level. Use it as a chance to begin to open those doors again. It will be a little uncomfortable and unfamiliar at first, but the more you do it the easier it becomes and you may find you even enjoy it.

If you don’t risk, then you have no chance is being hurt, but you also lose the opportunity to find something worth keeping.

 

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