Interview: Part 2.5

  1. You mentioned the constant negative reinforcement by media and society on how they greatly influence our thoughts and perception about beauty and looks. Some women have told us that they have so much negative chatter in their minds that they are simply unable to make a positive change. For every positive step they take, they tend to have be pushed 10 steps back by their inner critic and negativity. How can women detoxify the negativity in their mind and from external sources and make continuous progress to enhance their self worth and value?

Constantly receiving the negative reinforcement by media and society has been devastating on women attempting to gain self worth and confidence. We can’t even begin to understand how many times a day we are exposed to unrealistic figures, lives, and standards of living. Not only that, the words magazines choose to put on their covers even sinks you farther into believing what you are doing isn’t good enough. Your sex isn’t up to par, your clothes are out of style, and your abs aren’t flat enough. Who is setting these standards? I am not really certain who they are, but they aren’t realistic. How do we even begin to step back and remove ourselves from something that is so deeply ingrained in our culture?

Facebook, it’s the highlight reel of your friend’s lives (and maybe yours too). A status will always say something really awesome that‘s going on, “Gone to Hawaii with the love of my life for 10 days. See ya!” It’s never anything like, “Got dumped. Again. Crying in my bathtub with a bottle of wine and chocolate.” What we see on Facebook is exactly what that person wants us to see, so when your life doesn’t match up to theirs it’s because you are only seeing one side. Just remember highlight reel.

Pinterest it’s all the most wonderful things in the world on one website. This takes the idea of Facebook one step further by not only letting you put your life on the board but taking other people’s lives and pinning it on your board. But, that is where the problem lies, it is an illusion. We are slowly buying into the DIY projects that Sally Sue can whip up together in what looks like 5 minutes and takes the rest of us 5 hours. Or the wedding planning pins that are supposed to be on a budget, but you’re wondering what budget they followed. It is like real life Barbies we are trying to compete with. And by the end of it you are defeated and sinking into a hole of what you have and who you are never being enough.

The list of social media goes on and on into Instagram, Twitter, Blogs, Flickr…the list is endless and none of it will help you get any closer to accepting who you are. If you find that you notice yourself having more negative feelings after being on any of these sites, I would encourage you first to make a graph and put a scale of 1-10 on your mood and each time before you look at one of these sites mark where your mood is and then again after you have been on the website. If you find you constantly feeling worse it may not be a bad idea to delete your account(s). There are other ways to stay up to date with loved ones without knowing their every move.

  • You are enough. Wake up every morning and say it.–even when you don’t believe it.
  • Put pictures up of real women you admire—your mom, sisters, Kelly Osborn…whoever it might be that makes you feel good about who you are and what you have to offer.
  • If you like encouraging quotes, put them up in your car, on your mirror, next to your bed, wherever you look.
  • Certain people may be triggers, know who they are and figure out if you need to limit your time with them or stop following them on social media.
  • Have conversations with people. Real conversations about things that really matter to you.
  • You are not alone in this battle.

I’ve said it before, comparison is the thief of joy and if we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, we are robbing ourselves of the most precious gift life has to offer—a life of contentment and joy in who we are and what we have to offer.

 

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