Interview: Part 8

Another common question we frequently get asked from our readers is when they should talk about marriage in a relationship. Some of our subscribers would like to get married soon, start a family and are quite wary of a ticking biological clock. For them, time is crucial and they don’t want to waste their time with the wrong men. Some men when asked about marriage respond “Maybe, some day I want to get married” or “Yes, I want to get married some day in the future.” Women are not quite sure whether they should wait or if they should move on when they hear this response.

What would your advice be for women in this situation?

Marriage and a family is something many people desire, not just women. While women are often more forthcoming with that information, men know what they are looking for and if they want to get married. Obviously, it’s not something to dive into the first few dates, but probably in the first couple months it’s a good idea to be sure you are in fact on the same “Life Page.”

There are opportunities the first couple months where you can slide subtle questions in to find out where he lies on the topics of marriage and children. If he’s talking about his niece or nephew, you can say something as simple as, “I love kids. Do you want children one day?” Gives him a chance to reveal something but in a non-confrontational way. Or marriage, which is trickier, but it’s not hard to find something wedding or marriage related and slide an unassuming question in the conversation. No need to harp on his response, if he’s worth keeping around you can do that later. And if those innocuous questions freak him out, he’s probably not on your page.

For the sake of keeping it simple, if he doesn’t know what he wants or thinks “maybe eventually down the road”, and that’s not lining up with you, cut bait and get out. It’s nothing against you, but if you were “the one” for him he wouldn’t be wishy-washy. He’d be ready to give you some pretty firm answers. It might not mean marriage in the next month, but you at least know you desire the same things. If you wait around you are just spinning your wheels on a guy who is indecisive and not committing to you. There are men out there (lots of them) who want to get married and have families, and if you stick around Joe Shmo you’re missing out on someone who wants to settle down and share a life with you.

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