One of my favorite things to do is clean out my closet. Get rid of the old to make room for the new. It can be sad. It took me some time to finally get rid of my old college t-shirts because of the memories we shared together. One from a formal, a couple from date nights, a few from those “special” boys who lent me their shirt (and I interpreted the “lending” to mean “keep forever”). Then those old ratty jeans–you know where each hole and rip came from and they have sentimental meaning. The thought of getting rid of them hurts your insides because it’s saying goodbye to part of your story. Like our closets, we can hold onto too much of relationships if we don’t purge, and if we don’t purge it doesn’t allow us to move forward.
Like the idea of getting rid of that nasty hat you’ve worn since you were in 9th grade, you need to start the purge. Keeping those old connections allows you to have that link to the piece of your life that may be preventing you from moving forward onto new and better things. How do you begin the process?
**FYI this part won’t be easy and will make you feel like you are betraying someone.
- No reason for that phone number. Delete it.
- Why do you need to read back over your old text messages? Erase them.
- If Facebook or Instagram is a temptation either block them or get off. If getting on their account is a problem, tell someone so they can hold you accountable. You’ve crossed over to crazy (you probably know that already but don’t want to admit it to yourself.)
- Any of their belongings—either toss them or put them in a box and have the person come and retrieve them when you aren’t home or get someone to deliver it to them.
- Those little urges you get to make contact with that person because something makes you think of them—ignore them. Tie your hands behind your back.
The list can go on and on, but my point in giving you a starting place is because as long as you’re holding on to some part of that person and the “what ifs” is preventing you from moving forward and on to something new and great. Let go and be.