Interview: Part 10

What books or resources would you recommend for women that are looking to create long lasting fulfilling relationships?

Of course, some people will find certain resources helpful and others not as much, but it’s worth a look! If there is anything you find particularly helpful let me know! Always looking for great resources!

You see Hopper, Nature has a certain order. The ants pick the food, the ants keep the food, and the grasshoppers leave!

I returned earlier this week from the last of my travels this summer to find my car infested with nasty ants. I ran my car through the car wash, hosed it down, sprayed Raid ant killer, and took it back through another car wash. I feel like my efforts were pretty successful and have only seen one ant since. However, after much investigation I learned that ants are rather resistant and even though I got rid of them, many of them probably survived the car washes.

-Myrmecophobia is the fear of ants. I don’t have that but I don’t like them.
-Ants have the largest brain and in the animal kingdom relative to its size. They can also lift 50X their weight and pull 30X their weight. True gladiators.
-Ants yawn and will stretch before beginning their day. Never witnessed this, nor do I care to.
-It’s really hard to  drown an ant because these resilient little bugs have extremely tiny breathing tubes which water can’t penetrate. Good to know.
-Some ants like to raid nests of other ants and take the workers as slaves.
-Ants have two stomachs, one for them and one to feed others. So I guess they regurgitate their food like a mommy bird.
-Some queen ants lick the eggs to make them hatch.
-The Hormiga culona (ants with the big butt) has been a delicacy in Columbia for centuries. Typically they are roasted in salt and eaten as a snack. Sounds like popcorn.
-An ant can survive for up to 2 weeks underwater. Someone should get an ant farm and try that.
-Ants are the longest living insect and they are mentioned twice in The Bible.
-Workers, on the average, live about one year. Some species may even last 5 years, but most amazing is the Queen can live for 20 years.
-Ants are everywhere. EVERYWHERE

Interview: Part 9

What would your top 3 tips be for women who feel like they are doing all the work in the relationship or don’t know where they stand in their relationship or they are not getting the kind of commitment from their partner?

Every relationship is going to have it’s ups and downs, but also remember a relationship is a two way street. If you feel like you are putting all the work into it, there is something that is off and either needs to get fixed immediately or you need to hop on out. Three tips for those of you who are in that situation would include:

  1. Have a little bit of patience with him. Is there a reason he has pulled back? Is work going well? Is he under family stress? Did he experience something out of the ordinary that has shaken him up a bit? If so, give him some time and allow him to heal or seek help to move past this stumbling block. Figure out how you can come alongside him and support him in the way that is best for him. What would work for you may not be what works for him.
  2. Talk to him. A relationship is based on communication. If you’re not letting him know your needs he won’t be able to provide you what you’re expecting. He’s not a mind reader, even though that would be what every woman wants.
  3. Let it go. If you’ve done your part, you’ve talked to him, laid it out, and he’s still not getting it, it’s going to take a lot more than your patience for him to get things sorted out. You also don’t want to wait around for him if you’re sure of what you’re looking for. This won’t be the easy thing to do, but sometimes it takes losing something great to realize what was there. That may be the case for him, and if it’s not there are other men out there that can provide you with emotional support and commitment.

Scattered, Smothered, and Covered

Yesterday I hopped an American Coach bus west to the exit before Alabama. I got off and the bus continued down I-20. The bus dropped me at a Waffle House and since I didn’t have my wallet, or anything except a backpack with a notebook, I didn’t get anything to eat. However, it did get me thinking that in all the emails I have written, not one has been about the Waffle House establishment. And in case you’re wondering, I was picked up there by someone (I knew) and they brought me back to Atlanta. I will meet back up with the buses on Sunday in San Diego.

-Shorthand = WA-HO
-They have served over 495 million waffles, but that doesn’t even hold a flame to the 1,527,602, 959.24 eggs. (Only part that is a little questionable is the .24)
-The first waffle house opened Labor Day 1955 in Avondale Estates, GA. That is so American.
-Food Network has named WaHo one of the Top 5 “Around the Clock Eats”. My favorite time to go is when it’s dark out and the creepers are romping
-When in doubt, Waffle House is open all day everyday (including all major holidays and festivals)
-Waffle House has it’s own museum located at 2719 East College Ave. Decatur, GA 30030. Open Monday, Wednesday, and Friday by appointment only
-Waffle House can be found in 25 states. Those states I can guess but do not know for certain
-Within a 50 mile radius of my 30327 zipcode there are 248 Waffle Houses.
-Interestingly, Waffle House does not have an advertising budget and relies solely on word of mouth and their giant signs to be read from the highway
-On their jukebox you can find their own unique hits including, Waffle Doo-Wop, Good Food Fast, and Waffle House Home

Interview: Part 8

Another common question we frequently get asked from our readers is when they should talk about marriage in a relationship. Some of our subscribers would like to get married soon, start a family and are quite wary of a ticking biological clock. For them, time is crucial and they don’t want to waste their time with the wrong men. Some men when asked about marriage respond “Maybe, some day I want to get married” or “Yes, I want to get married some day in the future.” Women are not quite sure whether they should wait or if they should move on when they hear this response.

What would your advice be for women in this situation?

Marriage and a family is something many people desire, not just women. While women are often more forthcoming with that information, men know what they are looking for and if they want to get married. Obviously, it’s not something to dive into the first few dates, but probably in the first couple months it’s a good idea to be sure you are in fact on the same “Life Page.”

There are opportunities the first couple months where you can slide subtle questions in to find out where he lies on the topics of marriage and children. If he’s talking about his niece or nephew, you can say something as simple as, “I love kids. Do you want children one day?” Gives him a chance to reveal something but in a non-confrontational way. Or marriage, which is trickier, but it’s not hard to find something wedding or marriage related and slide an unassuming question in the conversation. No need to harp on his response, if he’s worth keeping around you can do that later. And if those innocuous questions freak him out, he’s probably not on your page.

For the sake of keeping it simple, if he doesn’t know what he wants or thinks “maybe eventually down the road”, and that’s not lining up with you, cut bait and get out. It’s nothing against you, but if you were “the one” for him he wouldn’t be wishy-washy. He’d be ready to give you some pretty firm answers. It might not mean marriage in the next month, but you at least know you desire the same things. If you wait around you are just spinning your wheels on a guy who is indecisive and not committing to you. There are men out there (lots of them) who want to get married and have families, and if you stick around Joe Shmo you’re missing out on someone who wants to settle down and share a life with you.

The mountain and the squirrel had a quarrel

Summer time means that squirrels are running rampant through yards and the streets. That also means that the likelihood of hitting one goes up exponentially. Like I did two days ago…poor little fellow was just running to catch up with his friends (or mating) and darted out in front of me and got squished by my back tire. Whoops

-Squirrels belong to the class Rodentia—similar to rats, prairie dogs, and other vermin
-Since it is the largest mammalian group (1650 species WO) it comprises 40% of all present day mammal species.
-Mating season is in late Winter and right now. That is when they are the most active and can provide dazzling flying spectacles for onlookers.
-The average squirrel litter consists of four little ones. I have seen a baby one and it looks like a fetus
-What we see most commonly in Georgia would be the gray squirrel
-To sharpen their little teeth they like to chew on sticks or even power lines and that causes power outages. And I bet the squirrel gets fried.
-If a squirrel feels he is in danger, his first instinct is to stand motionless then it is to run up a tree
-Most squirrel bites occur when someone tries to feed it. Obviously this is a bad idea. Out of curiosity, has anyone ever hand fed a squirrel?
-The reason they run in an erratic path in front of a car is to confuse the car. Their brains aren’t very big.

Interview: Part 7

Some of our women subscribers feel that their masculine energy tend to intimidate men and drive them away. This is a common problem especially among successful professional women and entrepreneurs that require them to be more masculine at their workplace. However they find it difficult to transition to their feminine energy in their personal relationships.

In your opinion what does it mean to be feminine and can you provide insights on how women can embrace femininity without losing their identity?

People expect a lot from you, and you expect a lot from yourself. These are great qualities and ones that should be admired in a woman, but in the same way, it can also become your greatest weakness. These qualities can cross over into your personal life and that is where it will take a conscious effort to make a shift in the way you relate to men outside of the workplace. This can be a challenge and also one where you may not feel like you are being true to who you are, but there is a way to maintain that but allow the man to be the man in the relationship. He wants to feel like he is in charge and when a woman steps in and takes that role it can be incredibly emasculating. I’m not saying be submissive, but I am saying generally, there is a role a man wants to play in a relationship and you want to allow him the role.

There could be a few things holding you back from being able to connect with men on a deeper level.

  • One of those may be a fear of showing weakness or failure. That is difficult for anyone to do, but especially someone who is typically “in charge”. Your pride is on the line and an inability to let your guard down can keep things at a surface level that won’t let a relationship progress.
  • Remembering you are not at work. You can let your hair down and not feel the pressure to perform. You should be able to feel relaxed and let loose a little bit.
  • When there are too many chefs in the kitchen, what happens? Everyone leads and no one can take orders. Figure out how you can find that balance. Let go of the control.
  • Reserve those work clothes for work and do not bring them out for dates. If you’re going on a date after work, bring some make up and a fresh shirt or skirt to change into. And maybe a saucy pair of heels. Feel the part of pretty. You might feel very restricted in your work clothes and not even know it.
  • Practice not talking about work outside of work. It’s obviously a huge part of who you are, but it can drive people away when they aren’t able to figure out other interests you have.
  • Passion and drive are incredibly attractive qualities and if your job is important you won’t have to explain that because it will naturally come out, but no need to force it.

Just the same sweet song, keeps Georgia on my mind

I have spent the last 2 weeks coastal city hopping the Southeast. Through these travels, I have come to appreciate the south, especially the great state of Georgia. You can see my joy when I walk around Piedmont Park with an ear to ear grin on my face. Each week I provide randar trivia about whatever pops into my mind. This week, we are going to learn about Georgia because most of us have lived here at one point or another and probably should know more.

-The official fish of Georgia is the Largemouth Bass. I could probably stick my foot in its mouth
-Gainesville is the chicken capital of the world, and it is illegal to eat chicken with a fork there.
-Georgia is the nation’s largest producer of the 3 Ps: Pecans, Peanuts, and Peaches. YUM
-Berry College in Rome has the world’s largest campus. Never would I have guessed that. Ever.
-Six Flags over Georgia was originally named for the six flags that flew over Georgia– England, Spain, Liberty, Georgia, Confederate States of America, and the United States. Went there on Monday–what a thrill.
-Athens is the location of the first university chartered and supported by state funds. Go Dawgs!
-Chickamauga (NW GA) is the location of the bloodiest battle that every happened in the US. The word means “river of blood”.
-Kingston, GA is where a huge religious revival happened and now home to snake handlers. That info is underground though
-Georgia is known as the Empire State of the South and The Peach State
-Georgia entered the Union on January 2, 1788
-Burt Reynolds is from Georgia. Keep that in mind.

Interview: Part 6

Can you share your thoughts on delaying sex until women get to really know a man? Some experts I have talked to especially warn against having sex on the first date because it creates a sense of pseudo-intimacy that prevents women from seeing things objectively. For women who are interested in having a long term committed relationship, would you recommend that they delay having sex until they get to know the man and have him commit to exclusivity?

I cannot emphasize holding off on sex enough. As much as we would like to be able to disconnect from our emotions and engage in a good romp, we really can’t do it the way we would like especially if we desire a long term relationship. Our bodies won’t let us. We release a hormone called Oxytocin when we orgasm and that hormone is responsible for attachment. Oxytocin will give you the feeling that there is something more there than is actually there—circling back to the pseudo-intimacy. It’s like an illusion. You are allowing a man to engage in something very intimate with you and unless you are in a committed relationship he has nothing to lose.

Take the time to get to know him and feel safe in the relationship with him before the physical commitment comes. You will probably find the longer you wait, the less likely you are to start flying off the radar on him because you are secure in the relationship because of the foundation not being based on lust.

If all you take from this is “Don’t do it. Don’t do it. Don’t do it” then that’s all you need to remember. Don’t do it. Be patient.

They know that blowfish BLOW

Spent all of last week between the Gulf and the Atlantic being carried by the currents of the sea. Along with the currents come the sea cnidarians (silent ‘c’– nidarians). A sea cnidarian is commonly known as a jellyfish, but I like to use the technical term to sound a little bit more educated about the ocean. Jelly fish are great mysteries of the sea, and I would like to shed some light on their dangerous ways.

-Jellyfish are comprised primarily of water (95%) with no bones, eyes, heart, or brain. So really they just bob along.

-Jellyfish have one hole for ingesting and expelling food. Delicious.
-A group of jellyfish is called a ‘smack’. So you could say, “I was playing in the ocean and got caught up in a smack” and then you would have to explain yourself and then you will sound very intelligent–unless the pain of the smack prevents you from speaking
-The mouth is not only used for ingestion and expulsion, but also fertilization. One hole, many functions
-If a jellyfish is left on shore, it will dissolve leaving only a film behind
-Jellyfish do not survive well in captivity because they need the currents to propel them
-Jellyfish can be up to 7 feet across with tentacles 120 feet long. No fear, you will not find these off the Atlantic coast but in the Arctic.
-The amount of venom in a Box Jelly could kill 60 people. Stay away from dangerous marine life.
-And against common belief, urine will not help a jellyfish sting