Interview: Part 5

I have read a few experts that recommend playing hard to get as a means to woo men and retain their attention. Can you share your thoughts and talk about your views on playing hard to get to attract men?

This is a million dollar question. Thinking about it on the surface, it makes no sense. Why would someone you are intentionally ignoring be interested? But for whatever crazy reason it works. I have a few ideas between what I have heard from others and what men have mentioned to me.

It’s in their genes. Men may be hardwired in their chemical make up to want to chase the woman. Take the hunter-gatherer example, it’s what men have been doing since they first showed up on Earth. They hunt and the thrill seems to be in the chase. If we make it too easy for them, they lose interest. Peculiar, but it’s how the game works.

Everyone likes a little mystery, so revealing too much about yourself too soon takes away the mystery. Men like to have things to figure out, it keeps them intrigued. Tell him just enough but leave him wanting more. Think about a good book, the chapter ends and you’re so curious what happens next you keep reading. You are the book, and he is the reader.

It may be that “playing hard to get” is actually a woman being confident and secure in who she is. She isn’t consumed with when she’s going out with him next because she has other things on her plate she is excited about. She doesn’t need to take time to craft the perfect witty text back because she isn’t paying attention to her phone but to the people she is with. She knows she is enough with or without him. That’s attractive.

While I don’t agree with making up excuses and always being “busy”, you do want him to know you have a life, but you should squeeze him in somewhere. Guys like a challenge, but they don’t like games. Give him something to work for, but don’t mess around with him and play him like a puppet. That’s not fair and it’s manipulation to get what you want. The flip side, as a woman, there are things you should expect which include him planning dates in advance, following through with plans, and being intentional in spending time together. If he’s not doing those things, he’s probably playing his own game with you. Be smart, confident, play it right, and he will be intrigued. From the intrigue, only time will tell…